Beyond: Our Lives (Beyond: Two Souls Jay Path)
by emilymumbles
Summary: When Jodie escapes the final condenser, she has to make a decision. After months of isolation and solitude she decides to turn over a completely new leaf and live with Jay and his family. But Jodie knows for a fact that turning over a new leaf means telling Jay all about her past, and what she wanted was to leave the past behind her.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

Empty. I felt, empty. Like my life had been taken away from me, wandering alone without that one dominant presence to keep me from going insane. I missed him, I missed his dark noises, I missed his games and I even missed his irritating traits. I missed it when he used to throw pillows around when he didn't want me to do something, but now even his single presence was gone.

Aiden.

But my thoughts stayed jumbled, the less time he spent in my life, the more I forgot. I couldn't remember a lot, where things went on the timeline or whether I remembered things right. It was like somebody had taken away pieces and placed them in the wrong order. Sometimes I swore that the memories still floating around in my mind, were just a figment of my own imagination. I was losing emotional connection to my life, the life before he left.

I remain alone for now. Trying to make sure of things, writing down memories when I remembered them so later on I could play catch-up by trying to put them in the right order. All I wanted was to pick up the pieces and remember where they went.

I thought I would be happy without him. For years of my life I could have never imagined him leaving me, and sometimes I would wish him away, I wanted to be normal. I wanted to have a life, to fall in love and grow old. But now I've got what I wanted, and I had never been so unhappy. This was my choice. I had chosen to spend every day of my life crying, wishing Aiden would return to me. But he wasn't coming back, I knew that, but I would still cling onto the hope that he would come back. That he was still in the air above me, watching down on me and making sure I stayed safe.

For a long time I would sit wondering where to go. Should I stay alone? Should I go with my gut instinct and stay away? But it was so obvious. I had needed the silence to feel my thoughts, to actually hear them for the first time without something being there to sway me. And so, through living by a river for several months, I had decided where I wanted to finally take my life.

I wanted the life I had always dreamed of, and now nothing could stop me from taking it.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: For those who have noticed, yes this prologue is identical to my fanfic by Ryan's path. It doesn't make sense without it, and yes I do ship Jodie with two characters so I decided to write fanfics about both. I adore both Ryan AND Jay with Jodie, so I couldn't just write about one. Hope you enjoy these!**


	2. New Things

**CHAPTER 1**

The drive had been long, but when the ranch came into sight my heart warmed. I had been thinking of seeing them ever since I set out on my journey, seeing them and being reminded of my time with them. My time with Jay specifically. Already in the distance I could see it, and it felt like I was returning home. I turned down the dirt track and sped down the track, wishing to get there as soon as I could. The residents could have clearly heard my engine rumbling from a distance, because I noticed three sets of eyes settling on me. One catching my eyes only. When I approached, I made a quick pass to get off of the bike after shutting it down and as coolly as possibly, rock my hip against it.

Jay was in the horse pen, his brown eyes resting on me like he had seen some kind of ghost. He set out in a sprint, barging through the gates of the pen to come and greet me. Seeing his large build, his thin face and gorgeous cheekbones caused a wave of complete joy flow through me. I was really happy to see him. His arms fell around me and I couldn't help but return the hug. It had been too long since I had seen him, seen Cory and Paul. He smelt woodsy, like the desert but much better. We stayed in each others arms for what felt like hours, but Cory and Paul were still waiting to greet so I managed to resist more of being Jay's arms and looked to my friends. Cory hadn't changed, except more creases and wrinkles had impressed on his face, still so young but was withering with work. Paul looked younger, like what I and Aiden had done for him had helped breathe new life into him.

"Jodie" Was all Paul could say before bringing me in for a hug too. Cory was the last to greet, and it was nice to see his youthful face again. His long slim arms wrapped around me, not quite as tightly as Jay had hugged me but was nice enough. As I pulled away, I looked between each man, ending on Jay and smiling softly at him.

"Mind if I stay awhile?" I chuckled. All of them grinned simultaneously, it made me happy to see that my presence overjoyed them. Jay placed one arm around my shoulder and ordered Paul to get some coffee cups so we could catch up. Cory offered to help, so finally me and Jay were alone. "It's nice to see you" I reached up to smooth my thumb down his cheek, his skin lacking bumps or roughness.

"Ashkii missed you." He said quickly, but I knew what he meant.

"I missed Ashkii." I joked, wrapped my arms around his waist again but keep my head up to gaze up at him. His Native American beauty was still how I remembered; it remained in all it's glory. I remembered my opinion of him when I first laid eyes on him, when I first knocked on the house door. However, now he was happier.

"It's been a lot quieter without your questions. Funnily enough I quite missed them." He said, brushing my nose with his. The feeling of being with Jay felt like I had never left, like I had been around all the time and had only popped out briefly.

"I find that hard to believe" I chuckled. Our lips were inches away, our breath meshing together as we slowly leaned in. But before our lips could meet we were interrupted by Cory yelling for us, so we hurried inside the hut to find four mugs of coffee at the table, steaming with hot beverages inside.

"So Jodie, what brings you back to us?" Cory asked, setting down opposite his father and next to his brother while I sat down beside Paul. It felt normal, for us to sit down with cups of coffee and talk. Only one thing was missing: their grandmother.

"Leaving was hard enough, being away made me realise this is where I belong" I was initially speaking to Cory but my eyes flickered across the table to Jay, a smile forming on both of our lips at the same time. I wanted to lean across the table and take his hand in mine but I didn't want to be inappropriate.

"Your hair looks nice long" Paul said, looking over my shoulder to notice my ponytail. I had completely forgotten that I even looked slightly different to the last time I had arrived, so my hand shot to my brunette ponytail dangling down my back and I brushed it over my shoulder.

"Yeah...thank you." I replied, smiling towards him. "I completely forgot what I looked like the last time I was here." I admitted, all of the boys grinning and chuckling at me. "So how have you all been?" I asked curiously. I wanted to know about their welfare; how life had gone on since I had left, how they felt after the entity had been destroyed through the passage.

"We're good. It was hard at first, re-adapting to a different style of life. But I don't miss having to lock up the house and put boards across the window, at all." Jay answered for me, my head cocking to him but my eyes flickering to each man around the table. "We're lacking the female touch however." He said with a smile.

"Well it's a good thing I'm here now, right?" I joked. An echo of laughter rocketed through the room, and I felt like I belonged with the boys. "Did I interrupt any work or...?" I asked, each of them insisting that the work they were doing could be resumed at a later date.

"Do you have any stuff with you?" Paul asked.

"Oh god. I do, it's on my bike. I'll go get it" I said, standing up and excusing myself. None of the boys offered to come with me, which was good for me because I needed some kind of silence since getting here. I was glad to be in silence, but then I remembered that Aiden wasn't there. If he were there, he would have told me something to keep my nerves under control but he wasn't. I had to face the rest of my life alone. A single tear chased down my cheek when I got to my bike and I had to take a second to take a deep breath. I could do this without Aiden, I had already proved strong so far. Now I was with Jay and his family, I wouldn't have to be alone again. I grabbed my rucksack and wiped the tear from my face, turning quickly to find Jay had followed me out.

"Are you alright?" He said, noticing the tear on my cheek immediately and coming towards me slowly. I nodded. "Are you sure?" He questioned again.

"I'm fine... I just..." I remembered that Jay didn't know about Aiden, I had never gotten the chance to tell him about Aiden. But being here and deciding to be with him would only mean I would have to tell him, I couldn't live here without telling any of them for that matter. They didn't know a thing about me. "I'm just a bit overwhelmed." I said quietly. Jay came closer, his chest practically inches from my face.

"I know how you feel." He laughed under his breath. He took my bag from me and began carrying it in without another word. I chased after him, trapping him in my arms and holding him still. "What are you doing Jodie?" He chuckled, looking under his arm at me clutching onto his waist.

"I've been driving here for hours. I'm a lil' bit stir crazy." I said.

"Fantastic. Come on, let's get your stuff inside then we can let that crazy bottle of energy out, okay?" He suggested, so I followed him inside but instead of going to my old guest room we went to Jay's bedroom. I didn't argue however, I let him place my bag on his armchair and smiled at the gesture. He wanted me to sleep in his bedroom, it was like he was claiming me as his.

"So, how are we going to waste this energy of mine?" I tried being flirtatious but I had never flirted before. Jay just stood with his back to me, sighing and then slowly turning to face me.

"Whatever you've got in your head, get it out. I was thinking we could go for a horse ride to see the churros, Ashkii might be able to get that silly trapped energy of yours out." He took my shoulders and lead me out of the room, going out to the farm where I could see Ashkii in the pen. I felt excited at seeing him so I ran over, not bothering to go through the gate and clambering over the fence.

"Ashkii!" But as I approached Ashkii refrained from coming near. "He doesn't remember me." I said sadly, turning to see Jay coming towards me.

"It's been a while Jodie, but I'm sure once you're on, he'll remember you and your charming ways." He joked, patting my shoulder and going to find his own horse. So I clambered onto the horse and looked over my shoulder, seeing Jay stroll past me on a horse with a smug look on his face.

"What's that look for?" I exclaimed.

"Nothing, let's go." And without further adieu, we were racing into the desert.


	3. Warm Nights

Jay and I ended up having a race around the mountain and back to the ranch, and he won obviously due to his better experience with horses. I told him that but he denied it and said he was just better than me, which caused me just to smile. Surely if Aiden had been around he would have made sure I was ahead. My heart fell at the mention of his name and I clambered off of Ashkii to try and cheer myself up.

"You okay?" Jay's voice snapped me out of my trance, and I glanced up at him to see he was closer to me than I had expected. I could feel his warm breath on my face and it made me feel slightly dazed.

"Fine, sorry." I replied quickly. He smiled at me, taking my hand and leading me back to the house just as the sun hid behind the roof of the house. It was getting later, and I felt good for once not expecting Ye'Itsoh to come. I could sleep a quiet night with them.

"I think Paw is getting dinner ready, what do you want to do for now?" He peeked through the door and back at me, standing in front of the door so I couldn't move around him. I glanced up at his manly face; smiling to myself about how wonderfully beautiful he was and how he wanted me and nobody else.

"I don't know..." I sighed. "Watching the sun go down might be nice" Going on my tiptoes didn't help look over the top of the house, and Jay just laughed at how short I was. He took me down the steps and to the back of the house, where we could see the sun setting perfectly well. Everything about the situation was romantic, but I felt nervous. It was so intimate and romantic that it was making nervous.

"I've missed the quiet around here" I whispered. Jay's fingers briefly brushed mine and I took my eyes away from it, looking down at his masculine hand compared to my puny hand. So I reached over and slipped mine in at the same time as trying to act cool. I thought it had failed for a second because Jay froze but soon after his fingers curled around mine and we fell into a comfortable silence. The first comfortable silence I had ever sat in. When the sun had finally fallen and there was no shed of the golden light across the ranch I peered at Jay, closing my eyes slowly. I was exhausted, I couldn't wait to sleep in a bed and just relax for the first time. And while my eyes were closed, Jay pressed the first kiss on my lips since I had arrived here again. It was pleasant and not pushing it too far so I wasn't uncomfortable with it. When he pulled away I opened my eyes to meet his piercing into mine. Up close I realised how vibrant his eyes were. They were a light coffee brown, the opposite to the rest of his family who were so dark brown that they were almost black.

"Shall we head inside?" I asked, my breath wobbling with nerves and excitement. Still holding my hand, Jay stood and helped me to my feet without any problems. So we walked inside to find that dinner was almost ready anyway, so I let Jay find me a chair and I took my seat. It felt like old times except Shimasani wasn't joining us, I didn't know how it felt to eat dinner without her at the table. Most of the time our dinner was quiet, Cory would pipe up to ask a question here and there but that was it. They all just wanted to know how I had been since I left; and honestly, it hadn't been the best of times, but I started to wonder when the good times even were in my life.

"I'll help wash up" I said when people began getting up, but Paul insisted I would have to do nothing. So Jay told me that he had to sort out the horses food, and I asked to help out with that too but he quickly refused my assistance and jogged out into the desert without me. Cory also was setting off to sort out the churros, and with my fingers crossed I asked to help him. Thankfully he said that I could, but when we got there it became clear that he had only said yes to make me feel better. There was literally nothing I could do to help.

"What I wanted to ask you was; why here?" Cory asked, his back turned to me as he huddled the churros into their pen ready for the night ahead. My eyebrows furrowed into the centre of my head and I found a bale of straw in the corner to sit down on.

"Because I am happiest here." I replied. Cory only peered over his shoulder at me, his thin hooded eyes only resting on me for the shortest of seconds before they turned back to focus on the task at hand.

"Don't you have...like people that miss you?" He questioned. "I'm not trying to make you feel like I don't want you here, I'm just curious" He was the only one to be so curious so far, and already it was making me nervous. The only person I could think of that would miss me, or only two people, was Cole and Ryan. _Ryan. _My hands clasped onto my knees and I thought of his face, the face he held when I said no, that I did love him but it wasn't strong enough to be with him. The pure heartbreak that crossed his face when I uttered those three words; _it's not enough. _Even now I wouldn't forgive myself for how I made him feel, but there came a time when I never thought of myself and did stuff to please everybody else. "Jodie?" Cory dragged me back from my thoughts and I found he was stood straight now, staring right at me with bewilderment etching every feature of his face.

"There might be a few..." I finally responded to him, but I didn't want to go down that road. Not now, and not with Cory.

"I'm sorry, have I upset you?" I was still staring into the distance but I was listening to Cory. Ryan's face was flooding my mind; when he was happy, when he was concerned, when he was upset, every expression he had ever had was floating in my head.

"No it's fine..." To stop myself from getting upset I left the pen and made my way into the house, seeing Jay heading there too. Seeing him reminded me why I had chosen to come here, and the pictures of Ryan slowly faded again when I met Jay at the door.

"Are you alright?" He asked, a smile drawn on his face. He couldn't tell I was upset yet, so I just took his hand and assured him I was completely fine. The day was nearing the night time so Jay told me I could either have a shower now or in the morning, so I decided to go to bed early and wait till the morning to cleanse. So he followed me into the bedroom and we both got ready for bed. Silence again fell between us, the only sound I was totally at ease in. Once in suitable pajamas I turned around to see Jay sat in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts, and my cheeks flushed up and burned as I stared. "Are you going to stand there gawking or are you actually going to get into bed?" He chuckled, not having to look at me to know I was staring.

"Maybe if you didn't get half naked I wouldn't be so distracted" I snorted in response.

"What do you expect me to sleep in, when we live in the middle of a desert and it's boiling even at night?" He replied. I just shook my head, accepting defeat. To be fair, I wasn't complaining that there was a half naked Native American asking me to get into bed with him. I obeyed and sat down on the bed with my back against his, already feeling the heat of his skin radiating towards mine. Was I that cold? Would he notice? Naturally we both rolled under the blanket at the same time so we were facing each other, and for a second I took the time to admire how beautiful he was. His eyes were like a golden brown, so mesmerizing that they were the one feature that was stealing my attention from the rest of him. Even the fact that he was shirtless couldn't distract me from the beauty that were those gorgeous honey brown orbs.

I expected Jay to speak so I would stop staring at him but he didn't, he just reached forward to wrap his massive hand over mine. He was so warm that without thinking I scooted closer to him, both of his arms now welcoming me so I could dip my head below his chin. It felt special, because Jay and I had never shared a moment so intimate like this before.

* * *

The morning came and I found my whole body was dripping in sweat, except that I was now alone. Jay had been so hot all night, so close that I couldn't help but sweat. So I grabbed some suitable pants and threw them on before leaving and heading for the shower. Paul bumped into me on the way and asked me for breakfast but I declined, I needed a shower before doing anything without feeling like a greaseball walking. The shower was glorious, and considering the cublicle wasn't the most... shielded there was the breeze drifting in and hugging my body. I grabbed the towel and contemplated just walking out of the cubicle and back to the house with just a towel around me, but I did have my clothes on me so there was no point. I dressed in my clothes and slipped out of the cubicle when I felt ready, noticing Jay to my left in the horse pen again. I didn't think there was a time when he wasn't in the horse pen. I ran up, drying my hair with the towel on my way and then climbing onto the bottom panel of the fence to watch him handle Ashkii again. Even from a distance I could hear him cussing under his breath about how stubborn he was and some words that I shouldn't repeat.

"Having trouble?" I called over, a small smile on my face as he noticed I was behind him. He just frowned, glanced at Ashkii and then turned away. Despite my smugness, I knew that I wouldn't be able to influence Ashkii to get inside the pen like I had before. Aiden wasn't here to help anymore. My heart fluctuated again inside my chest but I tried ignoring the pain that brought the mention of Aiden's name.

"You know, I just got a flashback from the last time you acted all smug about being good with Ashkii. Go on, work your magic" He stepped away and allowed me to take a turn. Nerves riddled through me, at the thought that I wouldn't be able to do the same thing again because... I reached Ashkii and already felt worried about he would react to me, but he just seemed normal. He was quite aggressive normally, especially if anybody was too close.

"Hey Ashkii..." I whispered softly, peering over my shoulder to see Jay retreating with his arms firmly crossed over his chest. He was watching carefully, trying to see if he could find my trick. I reached forward to stroke his neck but he moved back again, causing a small frustrated groan to escape my lips. "Come on boy, just head into the pen for me for your breakfast" I said, trying to maybe make him move by getting too close but he ended up getting scared and flying into the air on his hind legs. Before I could move out of the way he came slamming my down, his left front hoof slamming down on my leg and knocking me to the ground. "Fuck..." I yelped, Jay running towards me to see if I was okay.

"Jodie just calm down" But the pain was too much and I began to cry, Jay wrapping his arms around my shoulders and yelling out for his dad and Cory. Both of them came hurtling towards me, and I recoiled into Jay's chest. I thought I had left the times where I injured myself and cried out for help in the past, but then at least I had somebody to rely on who could heal me without having to take me to the hospital. "We need to get her to the hospital" Jay said to his family, but I just cringed at the thought. For what felt like, probably my whole life, I had been avoiding going to the hospital. One of the times I had been in the hospital I was forced to jump out of the window to avoid getting caught by the CIA, and I wasn't entirely sure whether the CIA still wanted me or not. I couldn't care less anyway, but I didn't want to go back there.

So I insisted to Jay and the others that I would be fine and with just some rest I would be up again, because I went to prove it but I fell back down. The pain was too excructiating. Cory ran off to get the van ready, and Jay automatically volunteered to take me. He carried me to the car, where I clung onto him so tightly. I was more scared of the hospital than I was of just having an operation or the doctors looking at my leg. I closed my eyes, and wished that maybe I shouldn't have been so cocky to try and tame Ashkii again.


End file.
